Wednesday, May 14, 2008

On the subject of proms.

Proms amuse me, because people who usually hate any form of party that includes the activities of a prom will be brought to one anyway for the silliest of reasons. I say this of course because I am both not someone who actually likes what a prom typically incorporates and someone who is still going to a prom, but that's another matter entirely. It's not my own prom, for one thing; I don't trust the school administrators to hold their bladders with any degree of success, let alone a worthwhile party. Secondly, it's primarily for the benefit of my girlfriend, and we all know women will cause a man to do curious and strange things. Her upcoming prom is, in fact, the reason I am too tired for another lengthy dissertation and instead offer you a list of amusing reasons that people have tried to use to draw a shut-in into going to the school prom. Enjoy.

1) School spirit.
A word to the wise; school spirit isn't actually a reason that anyone does things that needs to be brought up by someone else. If you care about it, at all, you already know. Doubly so at Brooklyn Tech, because odds are whoever you ask has been screwed over by the administration at some point or another.

2) You wont get another prom, this is your only chance!
You also don't get another case of chicken pox, I could've survived missing it. Shut ins aren't big party people.

3) It'll be a great time!
Actually, given the faculty's complete ineptitude, the limited number of people I know who will be there and the expectation that I dance combine to form what can only be the Voltron of not-good times. The exception to the one I'm going to being that it will make my girlfriend very happy, and is thus worthwhile.

4) This could be your last chance to see all your classmates!
If I'm not keeping in touch with anyone after high school it's because I don't like them. Graduation isn't a goodbye to everyone you've spent the last four years with. Hell, with internet access it isn't even a "See you later." It's a "We'll have to do a little more planning to hang out."

5) I need votes for prom queen.
$50 up front, no refunds.

6) Everyone will look really nice.
They usually do, if you look at 'em right.

These are six commonly used reasons. None of them work. What's getting me to go to a prom, at all, is the thought of my girlfriend smiling at me in the middle of a packed ballroom. So unless the shut in you're trying to convince has a date, just do everyone a favor and leave them to the LAN party they have planned for that night.

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